facilitating personal growth
COACH'S TIPS
Fall Quarter 2008
Tips from Coach Carol
TOXIC PERSONALITIES
We can all behave in manipulatve, unpleasant, and even destructive ways at times. But some people seem to hurt others more often than not. They live by their own rules, on their own schedule, with little concern for the well-being of others. They are toxic personalities.
These people have distinctive thinking patterns based on beliefs that...
? having power and control gives them excitement in life, and they are always seeking excitemnet.
? they are unique. They see themselves as smarter, more creative, and more important than ordinary people. They are narcissistic (self-centered) and grandiose (self-important).
? they are never wrong. When they don't get what they want, or are caught in dishonest or manipulative behavior, they complain that they have been victimized, misunderstood, or mistreated.
Tips from Coach Carol
TOXIC PERSONALITIES
We can all behave in manipulatve, unpleasant, and even destructive ways at times. But some people seem to hurt others more often than not. They live by their own rules, on their own schedule, with little concern for the well-being of others. They are toxic personalities.
These people have distinctive thinking patterns based on beliefs that...
? having power and control gives them excitement in life, and they are always seeking excitemnet.
? they are unique. They see themselves as smarter, more creative, and more important than ordinary people. They are narcissistic (self-centered) and grandiose (self-important).
? they are never wrong. When they don't get what they want, or are caught in dishonest or manipulative behavior, they complain that they have been victimized, misunderstood, or mistreated.
Carol A. Henry • 3401 Bristol Road • Fort Worth TX • 76107
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Toxic personalities don't set out to hurt others. They just do whatever they want to do wheneer they wish , without concern for the inconvenience or problems their behavior may cause for others.
When confronted with the emotional fallout of their thoughtlessness, they deny responsibility and try to shift the blame onto circumstances or other people.
Because their own emotions are shallow and superficial, they have difficulty understanding the pain they cause for other people. They are bulls in the interpersonal china shop.
When confronted with the emotional fallout of their thoughtlessness, they deny responsibility and try to shift the blame onto circumstances or other people.
Because their own emotions are shallow and superficial, they have difficulty understanding the pain they cause for other people. They are bulls in the interpersonal china shop.
• they are good people, despite their manipulative, expolitative, or otherwise harmful behavior.
• caring equals using. They believe that if you care about them, you'll let them manipulate and take advantage of you.
• people who work hard are fools who aren't clever enough to attain their goals through "easier" and quicker means, such as scheming and manipulation.
Most of the time, toxic personalities' behavior is irritating, frustrating, or confusing, but within the bounds of social convention and the law. However, when they break the law or cause physical harm or severe psychological damage to others without regret or remorse, we call these people sociopaths, psychopaths, or criminal personalities.
What makes these people different is that they have no conscience. When they say they're sorry for something they've done, they don't mean they regret having harmed you, but that they're upset at having been caught!
• caring equals using. They believe that if you care about them, you'll let them manipulate and take advantage of you.
• people who work hard are fools who aren't clever enough to attain their goals through "easier" and quicker means, such as scheming and manipulation.
Most of the time, toxic personalities' behavior is irritating, frustrating, or confusing, but within the bounds of social convention and the law. However, when they break the law or cause physical harm or severe psychological damage to others without regret or remorse, we call these people sociopaths, psychopaths, or criminal personalities.
What makes these people different is that they have no conscience. When they say they're sorry for something they've done, they don't mean they regret having harmed you, but that they're upset at having been caught!