facilitating personal growth
COACH'S TIPS
Life Patterns
by Carol A. Henry
Childhood is a time of enormous learning, of absorbing all the information that prepares us for living in a world of adults.
Along with practical information such as "Don't touch the stove - it's hot and will burn you," we absorb attitudes, opinions, and beliefs about life, about human nature and about ourselves. We hear such things our parents say to us as - "You can't trust anyone but yourself"; "That's the way women (men) are!"; "You're so stupid!" - and store them away for future use.
These facts, ideas, and opinions are stored in the unconscious part of the brain, leaving the conscious mind available to absorb yet more information that tomorrow will bring.
Over time, this accumulated information begins to function like the operating system in a computer, automatically shaping your perceptions of people and events through the looking glass of past learning.
It becomes a script for the play that is your life, complete with a star (you!), a cast of supporting characters, and a progression of events that culminates in a happy (or unhappy) ending.
These are the basic three kinds of scripts:
Mindless scripts are those that call for living on the surface of life, carefully avoiding looking at the patterns of life or what they mean. Mindless life scripts come from being taught not to feel and not to think about the meaning of life. Carried to the extreme, mindless scripts can result in mental illness.
Joyless scripts create a life that is lived on "automatic pilot." When people learn not to trust their feelings, they become separate both from emotional feelings and physical sensations, numbing the pleasure of living.
One example of a joyless script is the successful middle managers in one research study who were described as having a "low capacity for pleasure." Another would be drug addicts or alcoholics who use chemicals to numb their unpleasant feelings and to temporarily produce artificial good feelngs.
Loveless scripts are a program for depression. Even though they may have success in their careers, people who are programmed for a loveless life usually struggle with feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, low self esteem, and pessimism in their personal lives.
They are those people who look for love in all the wrong places, and never seem to find lasting love because they don't believe they deserve it.
by Carol A. Henry
Childhood is a time of enormous learning, of absorbing all the information that prepares us for living in a world of adults.
Along with practical information such as "Don't touch the stove - it's hot and will burn you," we absorb attitudes, opinions, and beliefs about life, about human nature and about ourselves. We hear such things our parents say to us as - "You can't trust anyone but yourself"; "That's the way women (men) are!"; "You're so stupid!" - and store them away for future use.
These facts, ideas, and opinions are stored in the unconscious part of the brain, leaving the conscious mind available to absorb yet more information that tomorrow will bring.
Over time, this accumulated information begins to function like the operating system in a computer, automatically shaping your perceptions of people and events through the looking glass of past learning.
It becomes a script for the play that is your life, complete with a star (you!), a cast of supporting characters, and a progression of events that culminates in a happy (or unhappy) ending.
These are the basic three kinds of scripts:
Mindless scripts are those that call for living on the surface of life, carefully avoiding looking at the patterns of life or what they mean. Mindless life scripts come from being taught not to feel and not to think about the meaning of life. Carried to the extreme, mindless scripts can result in mental illness.
Joyless scripts create a life that is lived on "automatic pilot." When people learn not to trust their feelings, they become separate both from emotional feelings and physical sensations, numbing the pleasure of living.
One example of a joyless script is the successful middle managers in one research study who were described as having a "low capacity for pleasure." Another would be drug addicts or alcoholics who use chemicals to numb their unpleasant feelings and to temporarily produce artificial good feelngs.
Loveless scripts are a program for depression. Even though they may have success in their careers, people who are programmed for a loveless life usually struggle with feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, low self esteem, and pessimism in their personal lives.
They are those people who look for love in all the wrong places, and never seem to find lasting love because they don't believe they deserve it.
Carol A. Henry • 3401 Bristol Road • Fort Worth TX • 76107
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© Carol A. Henry 2010 - Some rights reserved
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Carol A. Henry, LPC, LMFT
Carol serves clients in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, where she works with individuals, couples, and families. She has facilitated training workshops for businesses, consciousness groups, as well as area recovery and church groups. Her counseling services include web-enabled video counseling. More information: www.carolahenry.com